One Elemental Truth

2005-10-25T13:06:00.000-07:00

My Three Favorite Real Estate Quotes from my Favorite Real Estate-Challenged Fashonista, Carrie Bradshaw (R.I.P):

I've spent $40,000 on shoes and I have noplace to live? I will literally be the old woman who lived in her shoes!

Ooh! I forgot about the washer and dryer! I've been dreaming about that my whole New York life!

I'm homeless! I'll be a bag lady! A Fendi bag lady, but a bag lady!!

First SATC, then Six Feet Under - where has all the quality television programming gone? Sigh.

2005-10-16T17:04:00.000-07:00

How to Tell if Your Realtor is Willing to Take One For the Team, Part Deux:

A married couple of clients and I were out looking at Walnut Creek properties, and found one which we thought would be great for learning about what was on the market even though we knew it wouldn’t work because it was too close to a grade school for my clients’ liking. The listing, I had noticed, had an instruction not to let the dogs out. Cool. Um, until a little wet black nose wedged itself in as I cracked open the door and a tiny little terrier darted out. He had obviously heard me unlocking the door and just sat there wedged in between door and wall so that I could do nothing but let him out if I opened the door even an inch. That little mutt (and I am a dog lover, believe it or not) ran and ran and ran. He ran down the street and hung a left, and was nowhere to be seen. The neighbors all stood outside clucking about how those dogs ALWAYS get out, even when the owner is home, and how even the owner can never get them back in. Now, I had only let one of the pack out, but all I could see in my mind’s eye was the dog getting hit by a car and me being brought up for discipline and censure for disregarding the rules. Unlikely, yes, but hey – what was all that church schooling for if not to create an automatic guilt response. Anyhow, the next thing I know, my clients -- who are not athletic folk – are chasing after the dog. Then they hung a left and were out of sight. I hopped in the car and slowly, so as not to hit Fido, drove in the general westerly direction my clients had gone. I caught up with them as they were engaged in deep negotiations with the dog to come with them. Now, my legal training kicked in and my mind’s eye saw myself in court with my clients, who had been savagely mauled by this seemingly harmless pooch on my watch. To make a long story somewhat shorter, we opened the car door and managed to persuade the dog to hop in, picked him up and took him in the house. Which, by the way, turned out to be not even worth the trouble. But the neighbors did raise a cheer as we drove off.

2005-10-10T07:37:00.000-07:00

From the Real Estate Diaries of Tara-Nicholle Nelson: All about dogs (a.k.a. -- How to Tell if Your Realtor is Willing to Take One for the Team) -- Part I.

I took two Single Girl clients, a couple, out to look at this darling 1920’s Craftsman bungalow in Oakland. It had been on the market forever (which, in that market, was like 20 days), but you could see that the house itself was very charming behind this nasty, overgrown, half-dead tree – which was all you could see on the MLS photo. As always, I had received the listing agent’s go-ahead to show it, and also had left a voicemail message for the owner/occupant. I should have known something was off-kilter when we got there and there was a sign on the front door saying to knock loudly before entering, and to announce yourself loudly upon entering. But I did both of those anyway and we walked in. The house had all the original details we were looking for – stained glass windows, wood floors, tiled fireplace, intricate moldings, built-in china cabinet – and an odor we really weren’t looking for. We continued through the house, though, on the scent (pun intended) of a good deal. Strangely enough, there was a sleeping bag on the living room floor, but we wrote that off as another case of different strokes for different folks. As we walked through the gorgeous dark wood pocket door leading from the formal dining room to the kitchen, something caught my eye. My head swiveled from admiring the woodwork beside me to look straight ahead, where I saw a big, big dog standing at the open back door to the kitchen. Teeth bared + low growl = all bad. I just looked at the dog, standing my ground, and swatted at the clients on either side of me to get their attention. In unison, my clients looked up and saw the dog, who instantly charged at us, barking. One client hurled her partner and I through the nearest doorway, into a bedroom off the kitchen. We slammed the door and then sat there looking at each other in total shock and awe, as the dog barked and growled insanely on the other side of the door. I was stunned silent – looking at my empty right hand, where my cell phone should have been, and picturing it sitting safe and useless in my car. One of my clients was muttering death threats to the dog under her breath as she scoured the bedroom for a makeshift weapon. The other client was having a PTSD moment, rattling off all of the times she had been bitten by various dogs in her life, and vowing that she was NOT getting bitten again today. Period. The newly-violent client cracked open the door to size up her adversary, at which time we realized that the dog, which was big, was also very old. So old, in fact, that his once-red hair was largely gray, and that he was blind. Well, we assumed he was blind because he was sending his barks and growls in the wrong direction, menacing the kitchen sink with his teeth and us with his hindparts. Just as my client found a hairbrush with which she swore she would get us out of the house, the homeowner’s son – just home from college – yanked open the door and demanded to know who we were and why we were in the house. We explained over our shoulders on our way out of there. I later mentioned the incident to the listing agent who acknowledged that he had a “client management issue” on that property. I filed that in my mental Rolodex under the “Understatement of the Year” tab.

2005-10-04T17:48:00.000-07:00

My pre-30th birthday Life Lessons, Numbers Four & Five:

4. Live ethically and make decisions to do the right thing (e.g., tell the truth, treat people fairly, be loyal, put your clients’ interests ahead of yours) -- if you choose to do so -- with no expectations of reward. Do it because your actions are the only way you can live out the principles and values you say (to yourself and to others) are a part of who you are. Living right does NOT immunize you from bad things happening to you, and this world grants few short-term rewards for being an honest and ethical person. However, doing the right thing will ALWAYS bolster your self-image and self-esteem, allow you to see yourself as a good person, and allow you to live and speak boldly and free of the worries about the consequences of having done the wrong thing. And I am convinced that LONG term, it will pay off. This can be hard to remember when (a) bad things happen in the short-term which you are sure would not have happened had you not done the right thing, and (b) you see the unethical behavior of others being rewarded. So take this as a reminder of what you already know – do the right thing anyway. It is SO worth it.

5. For all of us, the long-term prognosis is bad. We are all going to die. And if you think about it, most of the people who die on any given day didn’t wake up that morning expecting to die. The upshot? If you have anything you want to say, anything you want to do, anyone to whom you want to apologize or profess your love, anything you want to experience – DO IT NOW. Because, in the words of Peter Krause (who played Nate on Six Feet Under), “death will shut you up right quick”. And – life will be better if you just DO IT NOW.

2005-09-30T07:53:00.000-07:00

My 30th birthday is coming up – on November 13th of this year. Birthdays are not really my thing so much, as I’ve been so focused for so long on my goals and the day-to-day responsibilities I’ve taken on, that they sort of seem superfluous – as do weddings. For that reason, I’ve never really done much to recognize either my birthday or those of the people I care about; I might take my husband to dinner or bake my kids a cake, but not much more than that. This week, I was teaching a big seminar and got so wrapped up in that that I forgot my mother’s 55th birthday. I felt – and still do feel – so bad, that I’m still plotting about how to make it up to her. (Suggestions are welcome.) The experience, though, made me think about my upcoming birthday, and wax philosophical about moving into the next dimension of development and growth – emotionally, mentally, physically and as a business woman. My next few postings will include my -thoughts on what I’ve learned and my forward-looking prospective on the Path ahead.

Lessons I’ve learned – Part I:

Dwelling in the realm of the possible, versus the probable, is the key to creating a life bigger than the mediocre, the average, or the expected. And, in my opinion, pure happiness and functional family life BOTH qualify as outside the ordinary. So, my pals who were lawyers and now have left the work world to stay home and raise their kiddies, but are blissfully happy, are living bigger lives, even if they won’t ever end up on Oprah.

Never – ever – go into business with someone without having negotiated the terms of your partnership, anticipated potential problems – and negotiated solutions in advance, and reduced your agreement to writing. PERIOD. And this applies to business relationships including actually starting a company, buying a house to live in with friends as joint tenants or tenants in common, doing investment deals with friends or family members, etc. I am not the sort of person who believes that you shouldn’t do business with friends and family; frankly, these are the people most likely to care about you and your interests, so it is a little bizarre to think that a stranger will treat you better than these folks. [Added Bonus of Doing Business With Friends/Family: You know these people better than you do strangers, so it makes sense if you know that your strengths complement their weaknesses and vice versa, to take advantage of this.] But do not spend a dime or begin such a venture without putting your entire agreement in writing; in my experience, the process of negotiating the agreement will flush out the big issues you will have with that partner (sometimes, even leading you to decide not to move forward with the project).

Do not allow people who are not functional or self-sufficient in their own lives to become major players in your life. This is not me saying that your friends and lovers must be fully actualized, Wayne Dyer types. I’m just saying that if someone has a major, MAJOR life problem – can’t keep a job, can’t keep a mate, big-time unresolved trust issues, tendency to sabotage relationships, etc. – you should think twice, or like FIVE TIMES before you allow them to take on a major role in your life. I have an issue with this, as I like to feel that people rely on me and see me as a resource, so I think in the past I have had a tendency to attract colleagues, friends, etc. who had some major thing going on. Likable people, for sure, but with some “fatal flaw.” How do you figure this out? Look at their past relationships – don’t assume that your relationship with them will be any different than the stream of relationships behind them. And usually, you will know within a week after you meet someone what their issue is, and whether it is preventing them from fully functioning in their own lives. LISTEN TO THAT.

That’s it for now. I remain,

VTY,
T

2005-09-26T22:44:00.000-07:00

Thank you for spending these few moments reading my first post to my blog: One Elemental Truth. I am excited and grateful to have this venue in which to easily share with you my thoughts and observation on life, personal evolution, and the pursuit of intellectual, creative and economic fulfillment in the realm of business. Those who know me know that I have been intensely focused for some years now on developing that niche for myself in this world which allows me to (a) reach and serve as many folks as possible, as a galvanizing force helping them to shatter their limitations and grow into their next dimension, (b) develop myself as an expert, while still always maintaining the ability to continue to learn and master my practice, and (c) support my family, live well and develop wealth that will last generations.

Fortunately, God has blessed me with a huge amount of energy, opportunity and many teachers, mentors and gurus to each endow me with some Elemental Truth on my Path to mastering my niche. I was blessed to be born into a family of origin which included (a) a Grandmother and three great-aunts who all finished college as young, Black women in the South in the 1940’s and 50’s, and (b) parents who taught me – without reservation – that I could do anything, then put their money where their mouths were, making many sacrifices in order to provide me with a privileged education. Unfortunately, what I heard my parents say was that I had to do everything. This, along with my insatiable curiosity and interest in so many different subjects of study and business models, led to the years in which I had, in my mother’s terms, “Career ADD”; in a 10 year period of time, I worked as a Girl Scout Program Director, a Probation Officer, an FBI Intern, a Vocational School Instructor, a Mental Health Services Worker, a Personal Trainer and an Attorney.

When I left the practice of law to use the Real Estate Broker’s license I had obtained with the intent to save my father (a Real Estate Investor, a.k.a. to me as “The Bank of Randy”) some money on commissions, I had no clue I had finally arrived in my element. As an Attorney, having practiced in such diverse areas as Legal Malpractice Defense, Criminal Defense, Civil Litigation, Corporate Transactions and Real Estate Transactions, it wasn't too steep a learning curve for me to learn the transactional detail involved in a real estate purchase and sale transaction. However, the marketing and business development side of my real estate business was a total and complete revelation to me. If I found a niche market, I could strategize about how to over-serve that market, get the word out about my high-touch service, and secure business! I could do all sorts of interesting – and exhilarating – things with the people in my database to generate referrals, which led to an incredible group of clients who were the friends, family members and clients of people I already knew – and liked (i.e., people I didn’t have to be scared to get in the car with as we house hunted).

When I discovered that the large brokerages were, in my opinion, neglecting single women, Spanish-speakers, investors conducting 1031 exchanges, and other savvy consumers of real estate, I realized that I could reach out to these groups – through education in a seminar format – and develop my business by attracting a well-educated clientele who was committed to knowledge and taking responsibility for their own transactions. This is the best kind of client I could ever ask for, given that I spend a lot of time educating clients and managing their expectations, which the seminar-attendee type of client truly appreciates.

So, the first niche market I worked with in terms of seminars was single women; I now call them Single Girls. The second largest homebuying demographic in America, buying homes at twice the rate of single men. INCREDIBLE. Yet totally underserved and even improperly served by condescending real estate agents. I customized the solution-oriented knowledge, educational, expectation management, and transaction processing system I had crafted for my general client group for the specific needs and concers (and advantages) I had observed in the many single women I had sold homes to. I put together a meaty, fast-paced seminar for Single Girls, and a companion booklet. I put the seminar on in Oakland and Walnut Creek for free, as purely a mechanism for generating business.

And incredible women showed up. And they started teaching me. They said, “Tara – write a book about this. We crave this information.” They said, “This is a breath of fresh air. None of the Realtors® I’ve met at Open Houses even took me seriously.” I got emails from women in Southern California, who had heard of the seminar from friends in the East Bay and wondered if I was ever going to give it in L.A., and Orange County. Then I got a call from a Southern California Realtor®, who wondered if she could sponsor me to give the seminar in her area, to help her brand herself as an expert in serving this niche AND generated business at the same time. Whew.

This was a revelation to me. I was on fire and in action. I set a mission for myself and my new company, TN Knowledge Systems, LLC. My mission is to create more women homebuyers than any other entity. I feel blessed to have been given the ability and desire to go out and meet Single Women everywhere, and share with them the expertise I have cultivated, which will allow them to truly transform their lives through homeownership, which can DRASTICALLY affect a Single Girl’s daily lifestyle; her lifelong financial and wealth development; and her sense of independence, power and voice in her relationships. I am presently selecting an agent for my upcoming book, tentatively titled The Single Girls’ Homebuying Handbook. I am converting my seminar into a Learning Annex course. I am developing a program for Realtors® to teach them how to effectively serve and market to this niche. I am in talks with a couple of nationwide home décor and lifestyle product retailers about possible corporate sponsorships of a nationwide seminar tour for 2006. And generally, I am in my element and thrilled at the prospect of helping exponentially greater numbers of women through these media, and more.

Why did I name my blog One Elemental Truth? At a frustrating time in my niche search, one of my gurus, Bill Gwire (the most incredible plaintiff-side legal malpractice attorney in California, and one of the most emotionally evolved attorneys – or people – I’ve ever met, period) gave me a quote which I kept taped on my calendar, for constant reference. In the years since then, I’ve seen this quote everywhere from O Magazine to the Quote of the Day mailing lists. It is now ubiquitous because of its undeniable power and truth. It is now proving itself true for hundreds of my clients, seminar attendees, and for myself in this new venture. If you let it, it will prove true for you, too.

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness.

Concerning all acts of initiative there is One Elemental Truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too.

All sorts of things occur to help that would never have otherwise occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings, and material assistance which no man or woman would have dreamed could have come his way.

Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic to it.
Begin it now.

--Goethe, 1749-1832

Very truly yours (VTY),
T